Fisher Chips

By Malik Abbas

Liverpool, the beautiful coastal city in the British isles. That is where Fisher Chips was born. Exactly when is unknown. A Liverpool F.C fan, Dr. Chips has been known to attend a match or two at Anfield. As of now, nothing suspicious right? Well, things get murkier starting from 1998, when Chips moved to the South American continent. Having studied first economics, politics and sociology at university, Dr. Chips found that his passion lay elsewhere. In literature and linguistics, in fact, subjects in which he did a postgraduate at Birmingham. It is with these qualifications that he applied for a teaching job at a prestigious British school. A job that was originally supposed to last for two years became ten. The justification? Marrying his Brazilian wife. Or so he says. Maybe Fisher Chips stayed for another reason…

In total, Dr. Chips has lived in Brazil for 17 years, sometimes going back to the U.K. for intervals of a year or two. Other than the British school, Chips has taught at a rival American school and is now teaching at EAB. Yes, EAB, our very own school.

The event that marked Chips’ life forever was during his one year teaching job in France in 1990. Among his students were famous executives and the French winter olympic team. It was there, that the Cult called to him. Members of the Lago Paranoá Cult pretended to be executives and started attending some of his classes. Sensing potential, they convinced him to move to Brazil and join the cult. They told him not to go to Brasilia right away in order not to raise suspicion. Reason for the teaching jobs in previous schools. But now he is here. And he is here to stay.

Beware of Chips, while a member who has only recently joined the Cult, we are not quite sure what he is capable of doing. Can he commit such horrors as writing run-on sentences and spewing sentences with subject-verb inconsistencies? Only time will tell. The fact is, the IB gods, the deities of the Lago Paranoá Cult, are bloodthirsty masters. I can only wonder who will be Fisher Chips’ first victim?