How to Write A College Essay

By Felipe Bauer

I realized I don’t have an exciting enough life to use a significant event as a launching pad through which demonstrate my very vivid and exquisitely rich personality. That is why I make the conscious decision to lie, or rather, embellish the truth. After all, you have no way of confirming my story.

Because I need practice.

And you see, Mr. Admissions Officer Person, practice makes perfect. That shows a lot about my person because it demonstrates that I’m a hardworking individual. That is why I would be a good addition to this arbitrarily selected course I’ll probably drop anyway once my privileged self realizes money doesn’t grow on trees, or on analytical essays on Shakespeare.

But perhaps I am getting a bit ahead of myself. To avoid cliches, I selected this totally specific writing prompt, through which I will recall a most significant event that occurred to me, that is, the person writing this essay, in my short existence on this Earth. It was a rainy Saturday night, on the day of – a date that I very specifically remember – when working with the beggar I had helped on the streets the previous days, three kittens were saved from a burning building by the valiant efforts exerted by our persons. 

From the life-changing experience that was witnessing a building burning on a rainy day, I realized I don’t have an exciting enough life to use a significant event as a launching pad through which demonstrate my very vivid and exquisitely rich personality. That is why I make the conscious decision to lie, or rather, embellish the truth. After all, you have no way of confirming my story.

Now with that exhausting recollection out of the way, I must tell you why I have chosen, this, again, meticulously selected course. It is due to these very specific reasons that apply only to me and to no one else. Firstly, I greatly enjoy partaking in intellectual pursuits within this area of study. Secondly, I hope to one day work with such a subject matter. Thirdly, it was the least competitive option offered at your prestigious learning institution, and to me, quite frankly, name recognition is more important than human integrity. What’s the point of a challenge if you don’t win, my grandfather, a retired Vietnam war veteran used to say?

The point, or should I say, purpose, is that you grow from the experience. And with that, my hardworking person has produced an essay with structural coherence. I have high hopes that this was enough to convince you that I am, indeed, a human being, and not just a number on a screen and to prompt in you a certain curiosity for my character, which is not the one I have fabricated, enough so to let me attend your esteemed institution.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s